We're in the den, listening to Emerz' "Pokerface" remix, "Butterface." Emerz loves Lady Gaga, loves all things Sacred Heart. He's over Dwight babes, for the record. Toni's last text message said he would "never eat lunch in this town again." I thought that was pretty good. Maybe he should reconsider?
"I'm over it," he says. "She got a UTI, like, every week."
One can never tell with Emerz. The truth is embedded deep within him, and good luck trying to read his butterface.
I dig a little deeper. I don't trust people who move on so quickly. Emerz is like Beyonce: To the left, to the left. Except who knows when there will be someone new? Moveon.org was like founded by Emerz.
"I mean, I have a Brazzers account," he says.
I always thought Emerz and Toni were like Garrity and Riggins. Turned out they were more like Tyra and Cash. I guess what you need to look for, hope for, pray for, is something more like the Taylors. Just something that makes you cry for all its beautiful simplicity.
It's supposedly easy, if you ever find it.
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